


If I was there (Daisuga fanfic)

by Lee_Randall



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lee_Randall/pseuds/Lee_Randall
Summary: Suga was always careful about not letting anyone get too close to his home life, even his boyfriend Daichi. But one night, he was too reckless and let Daichi see what really went on inside. Now they're both in a position they don't want to be in.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	If I was there (Daisuga fanfic)

Suga heaved a heavy sigh. He looked up at the clouds, slowly drifting over the sky, beads of sweat running down his brow and his breaths coming short.

This is what happens when Daichi decides to run laps up and down the hill behind Karasuno's volleyball gym. All of the boys end up sprawling over the grass, even Daichi himself. Except for those two. Suga stifled a laugh as he looked up and saw Kageyama and Hinata still racing each other, seeing who could do the most amount of laps before one of them fell.

This was his life, it was fun, it was great. He looked over and Daichi, heaving as he leaned against a tree trunk, sculling water. Daichi and Suga, being the two oldest in the team, thought over whether they should make their relationship open and came to the conclusion that it was probably best to keep their love life and their school life separate. But Suga didn't mind, his time around his friends, around Daichi, made him happy.

It was home that he dreaded.

When Suga was six years old, his mother left both him and his father, due to his father's alcohol addiction. Ever since then, Suga has been doing all that he could to deal with his drunken father.

"Alright everyone!" Daichi's voice rose so everyone could hear it. "Hinata, Kageyama, stop before you kill yourselves and come here."

They both stopped at the top of the hill and ran down to Daichi. "Good practice session, why don't we all go out for pork buns? Who's in?"

Tanaka and Noya cheered and started clamouring in the corner. Tsukki said no, which lead to Yamaguchi saying no. Asahi had to go home and see his parents for their anniversary. And Ennoshita, of course, said he needed to study.

So it was just Suga, Daichi, Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka and Noya.

Everyone packed up their things and departed ways. Daichi and Suga dropped back, as Tanaka and Noya ran forward and Kageyama jumped on the back on Hinatas bike.

Daichi chuckled at Kageyama screamed at Hinata to slow down, complaining that he was going to fall off. And before long, they'd reached the small store that Ukai runs, the place were Karasuno would have their annual pork buns, bought by Daichi.

They all walked in and Hinata engaged with Ukai in a conversation about his spikes. Suga smiled at him and walked over to Daichi, who was putting Pork buns into a brown paper bag, one by one. He turned around and smiled at the small group gathered. "Alright, how many does everyone want?"

***

Daichi's hand was warm in Suga's as they walked under the stary sky, and it was almost too soon before they reached the fork in the road, one leading to Daichi's house and one leading to Suga's.

Suga went to stop and say goodbye, but Daichi just continued on walking. "Daichi?' His voice was soft, confused.

Daichi shrugged and turned his head over his shoulder, "I'm gonna walk you home tonight."

Suga's stomach twisted, his dad would be home at this time. "Are- are you sure?"

Daichi turned and held out his hand behind him for Suga to take, "yep, I'm all up to date with my studies."

Suga couldn't say no. It's fine, he'd just say goodbye a few houses before his. His steps lifted as his hand reconnected with Daichi's. Daichi had only ever been to Suga's house when his dad wasn't home and for all Daichi knew, Suga's mum died of Cancer, I mean, that's what Suga had told him.

He felt a nudge on his shoulder, "you okay?"

Suga looked up, unaware of the blank look that had come over his face, "huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine."

Suga could see his driveway now, a few more meters and it would be dangerously close. He spun and wrapped Daichi in a hug, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Daichi squeezed back, humming in agreement. When Suga let go, he walked towards his home and he knew Daichi would wait until he was out of sight. But, just before he set foot onto his driveway, Suga heard footsteps behind him.

He spun in panic, "Daichi?! What are you doing? go home."

Daichi smiled and pulled out the brown paper bag containing one pork bun, "here, I won't eat it so you may as well."

Suga's smile was forced and panic was running through his whole body, both of them were in full view of his house, in full view of his father. He needed to end this quickly, every second they spent in view was another second closer to disaster.

"It's fine, you keep it."

Daichi pressed it into Suga's hands, "no, you have it."

"Suga! Is that you?" Suga winced, his eyes flying wide as his fathers voice ran through his ears.

Daichi's eyes perked up, his eyebrowed creased from the tone of his voice. Suga grabbed the bag, "thanks Daichi, I'll see you tomorrow, now go home." He turned and walked towards his house.

Instead of leaving like Suga asked him too, Daichi didn't move, but watched as Suga opened the door and heard his father yell. "This is the second time this week you've been home late!"

"Okay dad I'm sorry, we've just been doing volleyball."

Daichi watched through the window as Suga walked into his dining room and Suga's dad emerged from the hallway running down the left wall of his house.

Now that the door was closed, the yells were still audible, but he couldn't decipher what either of them were saying. But, Suga's dad didn't seem to be easing his anger any time soon, so much so that Daichi was afraid something would happen.

He pulled out his phone, his hands shaking slightly. He scrolled through his contacts and clicked his boyfriends name. If Suga could excuse himself to answer the call, Daichi could give him some time and ask him what's going on.

He looked up to the window, setting his phone on speaker. He watched Suga stare down at him pants and jolted as his dad reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone for him. Daichi did a double take, this was not going the right way...

Suga's dads voice rang through his phone, "who are you?! Why are you calling my son?!" Suga's voice intercepted, filled with worry and angst, "dad it's fine, it's just a friend from school, he's probably asking about homework! Give it back-" He reached out to take the phone from his dad and he slapped his hand away.

"I don't give a shit who he is, you probably like him don't you?!

Faggot."

Daichi's phone slipped out of his hands, the words he'd said to his son rang through Daichi too. In the blank space where his phone had been, Daichi clenched his fists, fury starting to get the better of him. He should calm down, there could be something here that he doesn't know about, he shouldn't jump to conclusions. He heard Suga's voice, muffled from the grass in the speakers, "I don't appreciate being called that."

Daici saw both Suga and his Dad fall still. Maybe that's all Suga had to do, he just had to politely tell his dad that he didn't like it and it would all stop. Diachi breathed in deeply, letting his eyes flutter shut momentarily. He thought to himself: See Daichi? Nothing to worry about, there was no reason to jump to conclusions. But when the first punch flew, Daichi started running for the door.

"What gives you the right the speak to me like that!" Suga's dad yelled so loud that Daichi could hear it from his phone ten meters behind him and from the door, twenty meters in front of him.

The moment his foots landed on the steps, even the punches where audiable. The sound of his dad's knuckles on Suga's face made Daichi wanna lurch and throw up. But instead, he flew the door open and yelled out, landing a solid punch in the man's lower back.

Suga gasped, dropping to the floor as his dad spun away from him, his attention on Daichi.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Daichi's voice shook as his eyes slid to Suga body, bruised and bloody on his kitchen floor.

"Daichi," he gasped, "leave, please."

There was a moment were Daichi lost focus, his mind racing at the sight of Suga and the desperation in his voice. It was in that moment that Suga's dad landed a solid punch into his cheek and sent Daichi flying into the wall. For a man who was built like Suga, he sure had a lot of power.

Before he could get up, there was another and another. Daichi held up his arm and threw his head to the side, coughing up blood. He heard Suga screaming at his dad, begging him to stop.

And it did.

Daichi looked up to see Suga backing away from his dad, a pan in his hands. His dad stumbled, rubbing his head and letting out a low growl in his throat.

Daichi wasn't thinking, his hands raked the walls above him, trying to find something to pull him up. His fingers grasped the window sill above his head. When he hauled himself onto his feat, he saw Suga dad wrench the pan out of his hands, Suga stumbled and sobbed, trying to hold on.

"Dad please stop please stop this," Daichi heard him utter these words as the pan fell from his hands.

His dad held it above his head, "this is what you get faggo-"

Daichi lunched forward and grabbed his arm over his head, dragging him to the ground backwards. Through his tears, his mind was racing, desperate, so much so that he didn't think of what he was doing.

He got on his knees and grabbed Suga's dad's shirt from the front. He clenched his hands into a fist...

And completely lost his shit.

He landed the punches one after the other, over and over, screaming and sobbing as his unconscious head lolled after every smack.

"Daichi! Daichi stop you're gonna kill him!" Suga screamed. He felt the arms snake under his arms and hual him off the unconscious man beneath him.

Suga spun him around so he was facing him, gave him a quick hug, grabbed his hand and ran. They flew under his archway and Suga spun, locking his bedroom door behind him. When he turned to face Daichi, he saw him frantically running around the room, stuffing clothes into a bag.

"Wha- what are you doing?" He asked, his voice quite and croaky from all the screaming.

"Getting you out of here," he replied simply. "You can't stay here Suga, its not safe."

"He's... Daichi he's not usually like this..."

"So? He still does it Suga and I don't want you staying here when there's a chance this could happen. He could kill you Suga." The desperation crept into his voice and tears welled into his eyes.

Suga paced across the room and wrapped his arms around his broad shoulders.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving me."

Daichi shook as the bang rang through the room, followed by another and another. Suga stepped back and looked at the door, plaster falling from the frame after every hit, the hinges groaning under pressure.

Daichi stood forward and without looking back, held out the bag. "Head for the window, I'm right behind you."

Suga reached out tentitavely, "just come with me."

"Two can't fit through that window at once Suga, I'm right here."

And then the door fell.

Suga snatched the bag and ran, feeling Daichi's presence behind him. He swung open the window and jumped out. He turned at screamed. He was so close, they could have done it, they could have escaped. But with one foot through the window, Daichi was hauled back in.

Suga's dad grabbed him with both hands and lifted him into the air, despite Daichi yelling and squirming in his arms.

Slam.

Daichi's body thudded against the wall, his blood splattering into the white window pain. The scream renched from Suga's throat unwillingly. "Stop it! STOP IT PLEASE! DAD I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP IT!"

His dad dropped Daichi and he stumbled, coughing up blood.

Suga choked on a sob, "anything. Please just- just don't touch him."

His dad regarded him, turned on his heal and ran out through the hall.

Shit.

Suga looked around and saw the logs lying on the ground that they used for his tree house when his was young. He hauled one up and onto his shoulder, getting back onto his feet. He saw Daichi peering out the window, his eyes worried and confused.

Suga took in a deep breath, pressing his back up against the outer wall of his home. Any moment now, his dad would come running around the corner.

This was their only chance to run.

He heard the door slam open and his breath hitched, his hands gripping the wood harder. The steps thudded louder and louder.

Suga closed his eyes and felt one tear roll down his cheek. "I'm sorry dad," he whispered.

Now.

He swung the slab of wood around the corner and he knew it connected with his target point, the force of his dads body made him stumble. But it was the noise of collision that made him want to fall.

He peeled open his eyes slowly and looked down. His dad lay in the grass, and he could see his dark pool of blood in the moonlight.

"Suga!" He turned to see Daichi desperately hauling himself out of the window in his terrible state. Suga watched him and he fell to the ground and stumbled back onto his feet. His legs carrying him in a lop sided run.

He collided with Suga with much more force than he was expecting. "Oh my god Suga," he trembled and Suga felt his tears drip hot onto his collar bone, "I'm so happy you're okay."

The sob broke from his throat and his knees gave out, Daichi following him down. He grabbed helplessly at Daichi's shirt, and didn't try to stop the wails clawing out of his throat.

Daichi let him cry for a few minutes, until Suga finally felt his body being lifted off the ground. "Come on Suga, we have to move now in case he wakes up."

Suga nodded against Daichi's chest, his tears still falling. It hurt him to have to do this to his father. Because no matter how bad he treated Suga, he was still his father, and that was a label nobody could take off, no matter how hard they tried.

As Suga got onto his feat he stumbled slightly, but Daichi caught him, Suga's bag looped over his shoulder. "You ready?" He asked.

Suga, to tired to speak, just nodded.

The walk back to Daichi's house was long and tiring and it didn't help that neither of them were in good shape. When they eventually saw the glow of Daichi's front porch lights, Suga was hit with a sense of warmth. He didn't know how long he was going to stay here, but even if it was just tonight, that would be enough.

As Suga went to move up the porch steps, Daichi grabbed his wrist and swung him around, pulling him back down the steps.

"Daichi wha-"

"We aren't really in a state for my parents to see us," he said, a light chuckle carrying his words.

Suga thought about this. Daichi was right, what would his parents do if we just waltzed in covered in blood and ripped clothes. That would arouse questions, which Suga didn't want to answer right now.

They were around the back of Daichi's house and Suga could hear the faint noises of his TV and his parents laughter from inside. Even something that small made Suga's heart ache for something he could never have.

But it took him back, to the days when he was young, before his dad lost his job and became an alcoholic. When little three year old Suga would play with his toy cars on the rug as his mother laid in his fathers arms, sipping wine and laughing at what ever comedy they were watching.

Sometimes Suga would join them, sit beside his parents and laugh hysterically whenever his parents even chuckled, pretending to understand the humour that his young brain couldn't comprehend. Whenever one of his parents made a comment to one another, he would repeat it, jumping up and down on the couch and screaming it at the top of his lungs as if it was the one word to end world hunger.

And then Dad's business got bankrupt.

Suga would run through the house every afternoon, vibrating his lips to imitate an engine sounds, his arms spread wide like an aeroplane. And every afternoon he would stop by the lounge room, and gaze questioningly at his father as he drank on the couch.

And every single afternoon, Suga would watch his dad get up just before mummy got home, but away his brown glass bottle and go to mummy and daddy's room to sleep.

Mummy came home then though, so Suga wasn't too lonely when Daddy went to sleep. Mum would always come home, pick Suga up and send him to sleep before dinner. Suga hated that, his hated sleeping, he wanted to play with his toys instead.

"Suga?" The night sky came back into view, and the wooden panels that made up the side of Daichi's house, "What's wrong?"

Suga turned to Daichi and smiled, "nothing, I'm fine."

Daichi regarded him, his gaze tender and cautious. But after waiting for more elaboration that he wasn't going to received. He turned back to the tap on the wall outside his house.

Before Suga could react, Daichi threw his shirt up and over his head, exposing his back to the cold night air and exposing Suga's eyes to the intricate, tan curves of his back. He held the corner of his shirt under the running water.

Daichi rose back onto his feet, a smile crossing over his lips, "eyes here babe."

He grabbed the bottom of Suga's chin and rose his face to meet his, tearing Suga's eyes off the dark, prominent lines of his abs. Honestly, with everything that has gone on tonight, Suga think the least he deserved was a long moment with his boyfriends abs.

But even that wouldn't go his way.

Daichi brought his other hand up to Suga's face, gently wiping away the blood trailing from his left nostril. The cotton from his shirt tickled his nose, and Suga wriggled it in response.

Daichi laughed quietly, a soft noise under his breath, "you look like a rabbit."

Suga hummed in reply, tilting his head up to the sky.

Daichi's hands left and he returned to a crouch under the tap. As he returned to normal level, he handed the shirt to me, a slight smile on his lips. "Your turn."

Suga took the shirt gingerly and looked up at Daichi's face. It was only then that Suga realised the degree of his injuries. He'd been so absorbed in not getting hurt himself that he let Daichi take so many of the blows caused by his own father.

Suga edged away, guilt spreading through him. How could he have let this happen? It was his dad, he thought, so he should have been the one getting hurt, but again, he thought he was too weak and look where that ended Daichi.

Suga felt his boyfriends warm fingers wrap around his wrist, "hey... what's wrong?"

Suga then felt the warm, wet tracks of tears rolling down his cheeks. Had he really been crying without realising it?

When he tried to speak, his breath caught and he choked on a sob. Daichi used his hold on Suga to pull him into his arms. He was so warm, Suga thought. He clutched at this warmth, his hands clutching at his boyfriend's bare back, his throat desperate for air.

Daichi ran his hands through Suga's hair, sushing him under his breath, trying to calm him down like he was a baby. Suga rolled his forehead into his boyfriends chest. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have let you get so badly hurt. I should have been stronger. I should have-"

"Don't you dare blame yourself Suga. I came in and I chose to cover you, you had no control over my actions and the amount of danger I put myself in."

Suga sobbed and held him tighter. "I still should have done more, made him hurt me, he's my dad."

Daichi looked down, "you've been through it for too long," he said quietly. "I deserved it for not saving you sooner."

That just made it worse and Suga started crying harder. "You don't deserve anything! Nothing Daichi." He let go of his boyfriend and took a step back. "I don't deserve you," a soft gasp escaped from his lips, "I don't deserve anything!"

Daichi grabbed his shoulders, "Suga, no, no. Stop."

He held onto his boyfriend as he crumbled, almost tangibly. Suga's sobs grew louder and his shoulders shook. If it wasn't for Daichi holding him up, his knees would've buckled. "I don't deserve you Daichi! You're existence is too pure for someone as ruined as me! Everyone's lives are! Hinata, Asahi..." His voice faded as Suga reached up and grabbed Daichi's wrists, pulling them off his shoulders and back down to Daichi's sides.

"I should just die."

The silence of the night was so quite that it was almost loud. Suga had considered it before, saying goodbye to everyone for the last time. He knew Daichi would be the last one he'd say bye too, he knew he wanted Daichi to be the last one to see him.

He would say bye to Karasuno, Bye to Ukai, leave a note for his mum and his dad. Then, he'd ask to meet up with Daichi, they'd go out for pork buns and head back to Daichi's to watch a movie. And when he would leave that night - his heart content from a fun, fulfilling day - he would end it, in the river that ran down behind his house.

When Suga looked back up, Daichi had his head down. Suga went to go reach for his hand, but Daichi jerked away, his voice coming out rough.

"I know you've been through shit. But have you ever thought how that would effect others, effect me?! I would be lost without you Suga! You lead the way for so many people! Kageyama, Hinata, Nishinoya... me."

Suga just stared at him, as he started to cry harder. But that all didn't matter after those words left Daichi's mouth.

"Do you want me to die?"

The question slapped him in the face harder than his dad's punches. "Wha-what?! Of course not!-"

"Well I would! I would do it Suga! I don't know how you would expect me to continue without you!"

The silence returned. And slowly, Suga stepped forward, returning his arms to their loop around Daichi's waste.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean it, I was just upset. I promise I didn't mean it."

Daichi dragged his hands up Suga's back and cradled the back of his head. "Please don't say it again," he replied, his voice thick from his tears. "And if you ever, ever think that, you have to come to me Suga... for your sake and mine."

Daichi, using his hold on Suga's neck, pulled it back slightly and brought his lips down to his. The kiss was deep and desperate. It was Daichi's way of saying all the feelings he held. I'm sorry, I love you, I miss you, I want to keep you forever.

When Daichi pulled away he looked down at his hands and held out the shirt to Suga. "It's getting cold, we should get inside as soon as we can... I can do it if you don't want to." He finished, regarding the wet fabric.

Suga held out his hands slowly and wrapped his hands through the folds of the fabric. Daichi released his hand slowly. Suga raise his arms to his boyfriends face, willing himself not to take in his injuries too much. Soon, the blood was gone from his face and Suga handed his shirt back.

Daichi smiled at him lightly, "thanks."

He slapped the shirt over his shoulder and picked up Suga's bag. "Now, lets go inside before we freeze." They walked around the back of his house and stopped at his back door.

Daichi lived in a two story house and his room was on the second floor. This meant that they had to get in through the back door and get upstairs without being caught.

Daichi handed Suga his back and held his finger up to his lips. He slowly put one of his hands on the glass and wedged the other between the wood of the door and the threshold. He managed to open the door soundlessly and do the same shutting it behind him.

Daichi's stairs ran up the wall opposite from the lounge, which meant they had to be extra careful. Suga went first, walking on the balls of his feet with haste. Daichi then followed and they both managed to make it to Daichi's room without being caught.

Suga sighed as he walked through the threshold and collapsed face first onto the bed. Daichi laughed lightly and dropped Suga's bag on the floor, sitting on the bed by his legs.

"What a night huh?" He commented, looking at the bruise around his boyfriends wrist with a pang of guilt. He should have realised sooner.

Suga rolled over, a soft groan escaping from his lips, "you could say that."

He scooted his butt across the bed and stepped off it, walking over to Daichi's desk chair. Daichi regarded him with interest, was his boyfriend avoiding him?

Daichi figured he was just over reacting and lied down on his bed, kicking his shoes off. He lifted his chin and saw Suga sitting crossed legged on his desk chair, staring at his feet.

It was then that it made the noise.

His stomach, so loud that there was even a possibility Daichi's parents heard it downstairs. It was a long and deep growl and it caused Suga's cheeks to swarm with dark pink.

A small smile crossed over Daichi's lips, "you hungry? I think I might have some food in here. Try the draws behind you, second from the floor."

Suga drew his eyes up to meet Daichi's and slowly spun on the desk chair. As Suga had his back to Daichi, he thought about this afternoon.

Then it hit him.

Every single time the team goes out for pork buns, Suga would split the last pork bun into four quarters. One for Hinata, one for Kageyama, one for Tanaka and one for Noya, because he knew they would fight over who got the last one.

But lately, including this afternoon, Suga would always ask if he could have the last pork bun. At first, Daichi thought that it was strange. But then he figured it was just Suga wanting more pork buns, no harm right?

But what if it wasn't...

"Suga?" Daichi's voice came out rough, "what have you eaten today?"

Suga went to turn on the desk chair when his boyfriend called his name, but stopped midway when he finished his question.

Daichi did a double take, "what have you eaten today Suga? This week?"

Suga just stared at the floor, a half eaten Pockey hung from between his teeth. But, when Daichi looked closer, he looked rather pale, thin. It was probably just his lighting and his mind jumping to conclusions.

But he knew that wasn't the case when Suga collapsed.

"Suga!" Daichi hauled himself off the bed and ran over to his boyfriend. He cradled his head in his hands, his breathes coming short in panic. "Suga?! Suga wake up!" He sat for about another fifteen seconds, gently shaking Suga's shoulders. He reached up and touched his forehead. It was cold and it was clammy. And now when he was this close, he really saw the shadows under his eyes, and the curves under his cheekbones, much more prominent than it really was.

He should have seen it earlier.

"Mum! Dad!" He yelled. He didn't care about the questions it would bring. "Call an ambulance!"

Suga needed a hospital and he needed it fast.

His parents ran into his room and saw the scene before him.

His mum began, "Daichi wha-"

"Call an ambulance!" He yelled again.

His dad pulled out his phone and dialled the number.

"Daichi honey you need to calm down," he mum ushered.

It was then he realised he was crying, shaking, frantically running his hands through Suga's hair, his head now in his lap.

"Daichi," his dad said, directing half of his conversation to whatever nurse was on the other end of the phone. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" He wailed. "He just- he just-"

"Daichi," his mother crouched by his side, "just breathe."

"I don't think," he choked on a sob, "I don't think he's been eating and then he just-" Daichi gestured wildly at the frail being in his lap."

Dad muttered some words into the phone, but Daichi wasn't paying attention. Instead, he grabbed his boyfriends hand, limp and lifeless in his and let his tear drip onto his wooden floor.

You're not going to die on me Suga, not after all we've been through.

He jumped slightly as a hand fell onto his shoulder. He turned to see his dad, "they're bringing an ambulance to come and get him. There is nothing you can do right now Daichi, so lets just..." He went to move his hand under Daichi's arm and lift him off the ground.

"No!" Daichi shrieked. Even to his own ears he was shocked at the hysteria in his voice. "No dad let me stay with him!"

His mum looked worriedly down at Suga then looked back up at his dad and nodded. They took a few steps back but didn't quite leave the room.

Daichi could only imagine what this situation looked liked. Being screamed at to call an ambulance and finding their son on the ground shirtless, covered in bruises and blood with his unconscious boyfriend in his lap, of which they knew neither of them were even in the house.

But he didn't care, he didn't care about any of it. He would take the questions and the scowling from his dad later. He just needed Suga to be safe.

Daichi's sobs ran through the room as he pulled Suga's hand up to meet his lips. How could he let this happen? First his dad and now this?!

Daichi choked on a sob. Suga would have been so much safer if Daichi has done a better job, had been a better boyfriend.

He heard the sirens and he couldn't say it was easy for the nurses and doctors to separate Suga from Daichi. He kicked and screamed like a five year old as they tried to lift Suga up onto the stretcher. And when they tried to take him away in the ambulance? He ran down the length of his street, trying to chase after the car and stay by his boyfriends side.

He knew it was hopeless, he knew it as he saw the lights fade over the hill. Daichi dropped to his knees, letting his cries ring over and over into the night. Wails of fury, wails of sadness, wails of pain, wails off frustration. All his feelings just pouring out and given to the open night air.

With one last inhale, Daichi made a wish. The only thing that ran through his mind is that it had to be answered, he had to make it come true.

"PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

He wrapped him arms around his stomach and rolled in on himself. "Please don't let him die," he whispered. "Please God, give him back to me, I'll do whatever you want, please. I just can't live without him..."

He heard footsteps approaching behind him and felt his fathers hand fall onto his shoulder, an exact replica of the action done about five minutes ago.

"Come on Daichi, lets go inside. The sooner you get home the sooner we can get to the hospital."

Daichi scrambled up onto his feet. The sooner he got home the sooner he could see Suga. "You mean that?" He asked, his voice ripped to shreds.

As his dad nodded, Daichi turned on his heal and started walking back to the house. But behind him he heard his dad whisper the words that left a little weight in Daichi's chest.

"Then you have a lot of explaining to do my son."

***

The whirring and beeping of machines caused Suga to gain consciousness. He didn't need to open his eyes to see were he was, he knew he was in the hospital. Memories of that night came flooding back and with it the sound of Daichi's cries.

Suga's body tensed. His cries seemed so real as if they were here in the room. He didn't know what drugs the hospital put him on, but he hoped one didn't have hallucinogenic properties.

"I'm so sorry Suga."

The words made Suga open his eyes, there was no way he was imagining that.

And before him, what he saw could have made anyone's heart tangibly snap into two. Daichi was curled over on the chair beside his bed. His elbows rested on his knees and his head was bowed down in between them. His legs bounced at an alarming rate and Suga remembered this was one of his nervous habits.

Sob broke from his throat and Suga didn't know what to do. He'd never seen him like this before. So desperate, so broken.

"Please don't take him away from me," Suga heard him repeat this in a whisper under his voice.

"Please God give him back to me, I can't live without him." Daichi's voice made Suga want to cry, or even curl in on himself and cover his ears.

He cried and cried and cried beside his bed, so much that Suga could see wet patches on his worn out jeans caused by the amount of falling tears.

Could Suga speak? If he could, he needed to say something to him, anything, to tell him that God had answered his prayers, he was alive. Unless the drugs where hallucinogenic and he was imagining all of this. But his boyfriend's cries were too real for this too be an option. Suga knew that he had caused this boy to snap.

He'd caused him this much pain.

"Suga I'm so sorry," he said again. "I should have been there; I should have realised."

When the room fell silent, save for Daichi's sobbing. Suga slowly reached out and flipped him palm open for his boyfriend to take.

"I'm right here."

Daichi's head snapped up and he curled his back into the seat a noise of disbelief falling from his lips. Daichi took him all in, his messy, bed ridden hair, the IV drip running from his arm, his body frail and thin.

And his eyes, they were open.

"Suga?" He asked. He had to make sure his grief wasn't driving him mad.

The boy before him smiled and opened his arms for a hug. "I'm alive Daichi."

The sobs started again and Daichi lifted himself off the chair and ran into his boyfriend's arms. Even Suga started crying. He was alive, they'd made it through this together.

He felt Daichi claw at Suga and it reminded him of when they were out the back at Daichi's house. They cried in each other's arms for about a minute, letting each other take each one's pain from their cries and exchange it for their own.

Daichi raised his head and kissed Suga's forehead. He let his it fall down and he connected his forehead with Suga's. They starred into each other's tear-filled eyes. Taking in the sadness and the happiness that they held.

Daichi was lost for words. They had given Suga back to him, he could live now. He didn't know how to thank the God's, but he knew there was only one thing he could say.

"I'm so happy you're alive."


End file.
